BYLINE : Sam Ernesto

Sam Ernesto is moving

2005-04-25T14:42:00.000-04:00

CLICK HERE for the new and improved BYLINE : Sam Ernesto.
Same Sam stuff, but better navigation, and fewer ads - what's not to like?

If you came here via our review from The Weblog Review (ave. 4.5 / 5.0)
meet us at the new site, all the same high rated content, better design, and fewer ads.

New site here.

Thanks,

-s.e.

Regime change at the Corporation for Public Broadcasting

2005-04-24T16:33:00.000-04:00

To comment on this entry please visit the new site
http://www.samernesto.squarespace.com

VILLA ERNESTO - I was enjoying my Sunday, and thumbing through the New York Times Magazine, when I read what I would say a troubling interview with the new Chief Executive of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB), Ken Ferree. LINK (If you are unaware, CPB controls both NPR and PBS.)

In this interview he says a few key points. He admits that he doesn't listen to NPR because he drives a motorcycle to work. He also states that he is "not much of a TV consumer." Hmm...That seems a little odd to me, if you're the head of the pubic TV and radio station to admit that you are not a consumer of either, nor do you believe that is particularly a problem.

Ferree, in describing his own media habits, admits "I don't watch a lot of broadcast news." For example, he does not list NewsHour with Jim Lehrer among his favorite PBS shows (nor Charlie Rose) (opting for Masterpiece Theater, Antiques Roadshow, and Nova, while noting some of the Frontline shows), he says this, I think to make his point, that "I do the Internet news stuff all day long, so by the time I get to the Lehrer thing...it's slow."

I think what this tells you is that he doesn't see much of a future for News on PBS, so maybe Charlie Rose is in danger too. I find this troubling as the combination of Jim Lehrer and Charlie Rose seem to be an oasis of parity in broadcast news today - like them or not, they are generally uniquely well placed down the middle politically.

It seems that for Ken Ferree, the future is not broadcast news (in any traditional form), but the Internet. I believe we have heard that before from many other people. Certainly, one cannot deny that this media venture (the internet) is advantageous, for example, it is cheaper to publish content online, than via the radio or TV, and he is running CPB with less and less limited funds, so I respect this economic need to expand online. Yet, I find it troublesome that he seems to dismiss both the more traditional forms, as well as the fact he fails to acknowledge the NPR/PBS internet presence as part of the corporation's future.

Let's return to his reason for not listening to NPR - his motorcycle riding. That simply doesn't vibe with his self-proclaimed Internet only (or at least internet mostly - he does admit to reading People) means of acquiring news. NPR is available online - I guess he doesn't bother to listen when he's busy online either.

The question is why does he come out in the New York Times, and give an interview such as this, which I'm sure he understands could cause concern with some people - specifically those who work at NPR or Jim Lehrer. Three reasons: to tell the insiders a new boss is in town; secondly, this is his first grab at getting Pubilc Broadcasting to a new audience; and third, by saying controversial things he kicks up buzz (of which I am guilty of assisting - but this is a tiny website).

It seems to me, this is a very puerile stunt to say, "a new boss is in town" and that CPB is on the dawn of a serious overhaul where news is going to be slowly minimized as he focuses on getting funds for the new initiative termed "American History and Civics". He claims this "initiative" is designed to combat the "long decline in teenager's knowledge of civics". Ah, so the target audience for CPB is now teenagers? Duly noted.

Furthermore, in an effort to aim at this target audience and subject, Ferree says "we're going to put TV dollars into new programming that will not be TV-centric." What does that mean? For Ken Ferree that means, "...new media. Interactive media. Games." Excellent. Games? What does that mean? Some updated version of Oregon Trail? I'm sure many of my generation played that game in their middle school libraries, and probably still didn't learn much about westward expansion in the 19th century. You can't teach the taste of a gum drop to a kid by having them play Candy Land.

Anyway, in conclusion, I think what you have here is a man at the helm who is really into himself. The "I'm a bad ass motorcycle guy", is a really ridiculous answer to explain why he, the chief executive of CPB, doesn't listen to NPR. It seems to me the whole interview is an overt and almost comical display of getting a message to the second other new target audience for Public Broadcasting, the NASCAR dads and the more conservative demographic.

I'm all for marketing Public Broadcasting to a new demographic, but there's no need to macho-ize the content to do it. A friend of mine who fought in Iraq, in Baghdad for over a year, told me the best journalistic report he saw regarding the battlefield, and what it was like to be in Iraq, was the Frontline, "A Company of Soldiers". [LINK]

In Ken Ferree's new PBS it sounds like, instead of Frontline, we'll get a fancy video game, a one person shooter, "Frontline: Iraq".

This is not necessary.

-s.e.

A New Villa

2005-04-24T14:11:00.000-04:00

VILLA ERNESTO: We are quickly outgrowing Blogger, so we are moving. We have done so in efforts to make your browsing experience easier to navigate and easier to understand, find archives, etc. We are still wroking on the new site, but it is now ready for viewing to give you the latest news from around the world in a way only Sam and his crack crew can.

To get your Ernesto fix, please visit:

SAM ERNESTO's NEW WEBSITE: www.samernesto.squarespace.com

KC BBQ and the Russian Art Scene

2005-04-22T11:05:00.000-04:00

KANSAS CITY (Sanjay) - I'm filing my report here, about the Moscow Contempary Art Scene in Kansas City from Arthur Byrant's Barbeque restaurant - a haunt of both Calvin Trillin and Tom Watson, and also a fantastic place for BBQ. Why KC? Because I'm taking a road trip around America, specifically following baseball parks because I became fascinated with baseball while I was studying over here (though I still prefer cricket). But, Sam wants me to report on art and movies. OK, a word on art.

I was in Moscow for a week of the second week in February, which is not the best time to be in Russia, and that's my first complaint. However, I understand that to have it in the summer would mean competing with the New York Yankee equivalent of Art Biennales, Venice (coming this summer where you will find me).

Anyway, there was some interesting art in Moscow, many said this was the most important event in the Russian Art World since the fall of the Commies - even though local artists were prohibited by the state to show overt political commentary (like depicting Chechens or parodying Putin in some fashion) - so if you're asking yourself the Ty Webb query from Caddyshack, "Is this Russia, Danny?" The answer from Moscow is, "Yes it is." So check it at the door, and hail the state.

Yet, these are artists and they get around it sometimes. So you get something like the work from the young Russian artist David Ter-Oganyan, which was a sculpture of a Coke can with a timer and a bunch of duct tape, which said "This is not a bomb." Interesting, and you got to like the use of the duct tape, which I really want to call duck tape, but won't.

There was another comment on terrorism (of many others), which has been especially discussed and photographed. Entitled, "Madonna and Child (detail of a bus stop)" by Oleg Kulik, the work depicted a woman who we recognize as a Chechen terrorist (perhaps dead), strapped with bombs, which are the children. The photo recalls fashion advertisements and seems in one piece to bring together the Russian conflicts of corruptive capitalism, terrorist issues, etc - and is all together interesting at least.

Anyway, while surely, as always among the contemporary art crowd, many said the place and the art was shit. I liked it and say they can screw off, and if they don't want to be in Moscow in the Winter, good luck following the crowds in Venice (which last time was so hot many stayed in their hotels). Anyway. That's all I got, hat is off to Joseph Backstein, the curator and organizer.

My apologies if I am somewhat distracted, but the food at this place, and Kansas City is really exciting.

I'm trying to develop my latest screenplay (biopic) on Subhashchandra "Fergie" Gupte, as you know, the legendary spin bowler of the 1950's, and former University of Bombay star. I'm trying to blend it with "Field of Dreams", but we'll see how it goes, obviously Fergie, would substitute "Shoeless" Joe Jackson.

In fact, I'm considering writing in a part where Jackson bats against Fergie, blending it with the scene from "The Natural" when Roy Hobbs strikes out the Whammer at the fair (in front of a wanting Glen Close no less). This scene would of course serve as an allegory of the coming economic power of India as a rising star against the cocky American "Whammer". Anyway, it's in progress.

In conclusion: Non-western art is on the rise look out, and when in Russia take a coat and don't say anything disparaging about Putin (President Bush knows this).

-Sanjay

England Beats Scotland 2-1, Herm Scores

2005-04-21T22:51:00.000-04:00

MERSEYSIDE, ENGLAND - Sam. I was checking out some women's soccer action over the pond as the England National team beat Scotland today 2-1 at the Tranmere Rovers stadium (which looked nice to me, but this was after about a fifth of whiskey).

This victory, on an injury time goal, should give the English women some Mo heading into the Women's World Championships, where you better believe you'll find me, German Herm reporting, especially because I have just returned from the apartment of the Goalkeeper, Rachel Brown, who seemed attractive and promising (she really likes Johnny Cash) but we'll see.

In other news, while on the plane coming over to the UK, I read a blurb about the decimation of the Alaskan Caribou in a National Geographic. I will say this has most likely a lot to do with the 1 degree increase in the temperature of the world, and I don't care what Dennis Miller says, it is making a negative impact.

Essentially, in Alaska, you got a case where the 1 degree rise in temperature has made the mosquito population surge. This is bad news for the caribou because most of the food lies in the valley, but the valley is mosquito filled, so they go to higher ground for the breeze, but there's really not enough food for them there. Thus they don't get the nutrients they need to build up enough fat for the now snowier winters - I really feel for the caribou because I hate mosquitoes more than the next guy.

I don't know if I got a little emotional or what, but a Dutch stewardess came over and talked me down, and I stopped crying. She was able to explain that at least my country was above sea-level, and you know things could be worse for me. I agreed, and we began to discuss Vermeer, and she handed me her phone number while handing me a bloody mary (my fifth). I left her my number for the Greenwich Polo Club where I should be in June or July - she runs the New York - London service, so we may expect to her from her if my date with the goalkeeper doesn't work out Friday.

It's been a long night, tired from all the soccer action and the jet lag. Nothing a blood sausage can't cure in a few hours...

German Herm from England....

Day of Fun in North Korea

2005-04-20T11:59:00.000-04:00

PYONGYANG (Yap for North Korea Wednesday series) – So, the Day of the Sun. Where to begin? Holy shit. The Day of the Sun is the birth anniversary of “President Kim Il Sung”, and according to the KCNA, this festival, that is being being held now “forty years after the flower was bred” (which I assume to mean the founding of North Korea), is going well.

I’m not so certain how they define “well” exactly.

Hard to believe, but the sun does shine here, and there are flowers in pots everywhere. However, the flowers are filled with audio bugs and miniature cameras, the fragrances expel mind-control chemicals. But there’s other strange stuff going on here this past week.

My sources confirm Syrian and North Korean officials met. The Syrians were also in town for the flower festival (again, for a dead president Sung this country oddly refers to in the present tense). The Syrian Charge d'Affaires Adib Alhani said in his speech that [late] President Kim Il Sung performed great feats for the accomplishment of the human cause of independence [independence of what exactly your guess]:

“Kim Il Sung devoted all his life to the happiness of the people and the prosperity of the country and performed great feats for the accomplishment of the human cause of independence through his energetic external activities, he said, noting that Kim Jong Il has led the Party, the army and the people under the uplifted banner of Songun and thus defended socialism and paved a wide avenue for building a great prosperous powerful nation.”

God damned Swedish:
KCNA also reports that the Swedes are in town for the Day of the Sun, at its annual meeting for the Sweden-Korea Friendship Association – according to KCNA, the annual meetings, held in Benin, “underscored the need to intensify the solidarity movement for supporting the statement of the DPRK Foreign Ministry and a statement issued by its spokesman in which it clarified its principled stand:

The proclamation of North Korea access to nuclear weapons to cope with the U.S. evermore undisguised moves to isolate and stifle it.”

Also, a message of solidarity to leader Kim Jong Il was adopted at the meeting. Fuckin’ great.

Little does North Korea know the last thing they need to worry about is US weaponry – if we can just get a McDonald’s in there, or at least some Coca-Cola, that regime will tumble. Also, personally, I haven’t seen any Swedish people walking around, and they certainly would stick out, so I question the KCNA report of Swedish relations.

Also, more Japan bashing today… from KCNA.
“Japan is a country destitute of independence. When a grave event occurs in the international affairs, it does not express its view on it with a definite opinion of its own and by its independent judgment, but reads the face of the United States, its senior ally, and sings in tune with Washington.”

Obviously the Koreans are confused, and repressed having never been to a Karaoke Bar hoped up on Sake bombs and singing Sinatra and Hank Williams songs with Japanese friends – it’s so not political, man.

That’s the latest – from the KCNA and North Korea,

Sam, can I leave now?

Vactian DMV issues ZINGER16

2005-04-19T23:02:00.000-04:00

ROMA (Roy Viceroy cell phone) - Sources at the Vactican City DMV have recently released the latest Popemoblie license plate for Pope Benedict XVI, former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, according to correspondent Roy Viceroy who called me from the Rome St. Regis Hotel.

License plate to read: ZINGER16.

Details to follow, unsure of more due to possible breaking cell connection, or general slurred speech from Roy Viceroy.

Also, according to Swiss Guard there may really be a "popecave" under St. Peter's where the Popemobile is stored ready to rock when signal called....DEVELOPING....

-s.e./r.v.

White smoke: It's the ZINGER!!!

2005-04-19T15:51:00.000-04:00

**BREAKING NEWS***
ROMA (Roy Viceroy report) - Sam, as you may have heard from every other possible news source known to man (and God): Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, known as "Zinger" to those on the inside, has now been named Benedict XVI ("16").

Sam, my sources here in Vatican City are telling me Ratzinger became a big American Football fan in the late 1970's, and we presume this is why he chose the number 16.

The number is perhaps a slight reference to his all time favorite American Football quarterback, Joe Montana. Not only did Montana play college at Norte Dame (making Catholicism cool to American kids everywhere), but Montana also wore number 16 during his great years with the San Francisco 49ers.

Furthermore, Montana's first Super Bowl was Super Bowl XVI against Cincinnati (14 for 22, for 157- FYI). So the side story here is this appears to be a good day for 49er nation, as they could use divine intervention to get back to .500 ball (Eric Johnson not withstanding, as Herm has told me he's tops at his position, but I don't really know much about American Football.)

But, anyway, it appears that 'Zinger, before coming to the Vatican, hailed from the Bavarian region of Germany. For you Americans out there, Bavaria is kind of the German answer to America's Texas. Everyone in Bavaria has an accent, and thinks they're bigger and better than the rest of Germany, they raise a bunch of cattle, and so on. And Ernesto with your Texas heritage I know where you stand on this issue.

But now we got to call him Benedict XVI, so I'm going to start that. So other bits, he's 78, and has a reputation as a traditionalist hard liner whether true or not that's what the AP is telling me I told them.

Also the AP reports a Der Spiegel poll saying that among Germans, those against his becoming pope were 36%, while those for was 29% - but you know if the Germans really had a say David Hassellhoff would be leader of the free world, so let's not get too crazy about that poll, even if it is Der Spiegel - I mean all the Germans are just mad that their unemployment is rising. I bet in light of their attitude right now they wouldn't approve the Tooth Fairy for Chairman of the Tooth Exchange. I digress, I'm a little tired.

So, I was able to speak to, then Cardinal Ratzinger, on Saturday, when I said, "Gee Cardinal, the Sybils on the ceiling here seem a little bigger than they did in my Jansen "History of Art", what's the deal with that?"

He did not respond and the Cardinal from Chile pushed me aside quickly. Based on that experience I think we could use a hard line traditionalist to put people in their place, and bring back the old school fear in Catholicism. Shiver the timbers.

Without the fear you just don't have 1.1 billion people on the same page on the same issues. You gotta make sure that they understand that the price for non-compliance here is "Your eternal soul."

I mean in my experience, people just aren't scared enough about eternal damnation, and that's why they're using birth control, and talking to women and things.

I'm certainly on board, at least for the next 10 years or so before we do this again, when I will be voting for Joe Montana.

Rest assured Roy Viceroy will be standing by...

-RV

Black smoke - How about Bill Murray?

2005-04-18T19:04:00.000-04:00

(VILLA ERNESTO, USA) - I've been waiting all day on the smoke to rise, which has reminded me of waiting for Punxsutawney Phil to see or not to see his shadow - and the implications it would mean to the coming or not coming of spring, and renewal.

We are awaiting word from our new contact "Roy Viceroy" - no relation to God Shamgod of Providence College Hoop fandom - but Roy V. has been detained - and we must wait with everyone else for the smoke signal.

Anyway all this goundhog thinking quickly brings to mind Bill Murray, and then I was thinking of telling the Viceroy - Hey, you guys are having some trouble, how about Bill Murray for pope?

Impossible, how dare you Ernesto? Well hear me out. I would suggest, maybe playing Talking Heads, "This Must be the Place" to go fwd if it's handy....anyway...OK

First, Bill Murray is a philospoher and a documented evil slayer, as well as a proverbial funny man. He took philosophy (specifically Gurdjieff) and history classes at the Sorbonne - I think after the sucess in Ghostbusters, which let us recall he saves the world from evil demons, and so on (with help, of the other g'busters but I mean come on, he was the guy who wound up with Sigorney Weaver at the end).

Second, in his interview with Cigar Aficionado this February, Murray discussed his time living in Rome where he rented an apartment near St. Peter's Cathedral - we assume either between takes of Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, (ERNESTO APPROVED) or between trips to the set and Milan for crates of Campari persumably still in character as oceanographer/documentarian/juguar shark revege seeking Steve Zissou - either way the guy has Rome experience and that should be considered in good stead. Murray apparently enjoyed Rome as well, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.

I mean if you can't see Bill Murray blessing the crowd in St. Peter's square - man thats your deal - but I'll take it.

-s.e.

Cane Toads, Tom DeLay and Dan's Cafe

2005-04-17T17:57:00.000-04:00

(ON AMTRAK NORTH OF BALTIMORE, NORTHBOUND) - It has been a terrible weekend, Sanjay is AWOL (see below), and I spent some time on the return from Mexico in Washington DC by way of a topless car wash outside of Winston-Salem, NC, which was a bit perplexing.

From the Captial, I was able to find some scoop on Tom DeLay, but not much, on account of the whiskey from Dan's Cafe.

But, you know, this is the op-ed day, so here's a little opinion from Sam Ernesto (well, more a story today....)

OK. The dizzying trip to Mexico has made me, well, dizzy, largely dehydrated, and slightly sunburnt. No condition to be flying a 1969 Cessna 150 from outside Mexico City back to the Villa Ernesto in the good USo'A. I was able to get as far as North Carolina, near Ashville (a great town).

I quickly rented a Chrysler-300, which would be good for the drive to Washington DC.

Driving over the speed limit, but within a reasonable person standard, I was able to reach DC by 1:30am on Saturday night/Sunday morning - With a brief stop at the car wash, supra.

I went to Georgetown, per schedule, after calling ahead to Ernesto DC contact, "CaneToad" (aka "Cane"). Cane was duly alerted and warned of the incoming Cessa Flown-Chrysler driving self - also thirsty, dehydrated, and slightly sunburnt (I tell you twice, because i really was).

CaneToad is Australian, and being in America, is not natural to the social ecosystem if you will. As you may know, much of Queensland has been swallowed up by these large bull frong type hoppers, who also happen to have no natural predators in Australia, can be halucenogic when boiled, and reproduce at a rate that leaves rabbits as also rans in the sexual reproductive efficiency quotient. Anyway CaneToad's name precedes him, and he's as good DC man as you will find.

Cane told me to park the car at his place and cab over to Adams-Morgan and meet him at Dan's Cafe, where he would be with some Hill interns (co-eds) that he wanted me to meet.

I was there by 2:15am, and with drink by 2:15am - Indeed - simultaneous servcie - as Cane had the Jack and Coke ready to go, as soon as I arrived - he's good like that, and as such, is a trusted Ernesto contact.

Dan's Cafe is ERNESTO APPROVED, and I'll tell you why - and I hope I have the name of the place right but this is where the cab brought me.

Anyway, at Dan's you order a Jack and Coke, and they hand you a plastic cup, a 12oz Can of warm coke, and a flask of JD, all for five bucks. This, THIS, is the American capital at its American god damned finest - all this while John Lee Hooker, Boogie Chillun' (original recording) is playing - and I start talking to the bartender about Ron Mexico's problem, and this guy relates - his name wasn't Dan and I don't remember much else.

But, I do remember this - we were talking with CaneToads' co-ed company, a girl, blonde with athletic build from Georgia, who went by Dale. She apparently had the scoop we were after about Tom Delay - that is whether the former exterminator does his own work at his DC house, or contracts it out to Terminix or some other professional, and if so who does he use and why?

Dale told us that DeLay, apparently, contracts out to Orkin. While he has given up exterminating pests and various crawlies, those close to him it is rumored that they believe he has gone too many years without exterminating - Hammering is simply not enough.

Her theory is, and apparently the inside Beltway rumor is, that to satisfy the bloodlust he thrived on in his former occupation, he keeps a roach and termite infested rundown farmhouse in rural Maryland, where, weekly (on Tuesdays usually, and of course "in season") he gets out his old gear and takes it to 'em as if they were "activist judges" or democrats. This is DeLay at his best.

Right there I knew I had the scoop, and was going to quickly leave the bar at 3:00am - but then they closed the shutters to the front door, and there about ten of us remained at the bar and we continued to drink and listen to various bluesmen from BB to Freddie to Albert King, and even Blind Lemon Jefferson....

I woke up on a bench outside American University, notepad in hand and wondered was if it all a dream?

Nope, I'm still in DC. A nether world between institution as American as Dan's Cafe, and well, a place like...well, a place like Capitol Hill...it was then a roach scurried past, and for once it made me feel pretty good -

Guess ol' Tom can't hammer 'em all.

-SE

ALSO to those of you that have asked....Why no post yesterday from Sanjay?

We've lost touch from Sanjay who we last heard from via cell phone from the premire of the Bollywood film "White Noise" at Fame Adlabs in Bombay.

Recently, he was tracking down not movies as he is supposed to, but following the Indian Papparazzi on their hunt chasing Bollywood starlet, Ayesha Takia (you may know her from recent Bollywood film, "‘Taarzan - The Wonder Car"). The big question is whether or not she is seeing Siddharth Koirala. That's democracy for you - 50 cent tabloids run the joint.

My Ernesto sense tells me she's now seeing Sanjay and they're in Bali or something...but until he checks in you may consider Sanjay AWOL, and out of control - but that's the way we like it as long as he comes back with a big scoop...

*Kudos to the comments on the last post. ERNESTO APPROVES.

Ron Mexico upset w/ Vick - BREAKING

2005-04-15T10:51:00.000-04:00

***BREAKING NEWS***

CUERNAVACA (Sam Ernesto) - Ron Mexico, 52, an American ex-pat, and owner of several businesses in Cancun, has found his name disparaged, and his lifestyle already negatively impacted from the facts of the Michael Vick case and is seeking to clear his name. (details on the Vick case at smokinggun.com).

Apparently Vick, the Atlanta Falcons quarterback, has been accused of allegedly infecting a woman with Herpes while being aware of his infection. It is also alleged that he often used the alias "Ron Mexico" to acquire medications and so on.

Such media frenzy and the public release of court documents has apparently caused problems for the real Ron Mexico. Mr. Mexico contacted Sam Ernesto at Villa Ernesto via email, and Mr. Ernesto rented a Cessna from an old college buddy and flew down there after more than a few stops and brushes with death - all in the name of journalism.

Mr. Mexico is sitting in the lobby looking like Nick Nolte in his mug shot, but with comed and slicked back hair - probably with Byrlcream. He is wearing a light blue, white and yellow hawaiian shirt with a hula dancer and tiki glass pattern; ratted cargo shorts which are too short for his long legs; and gel sandals (clear).

He is drinking straight gin with a lime, no ice. Sunglasses dangle from the second button from the top of his shirt - his skin is tanned and wrinkly like an old caribbean islad fisherman, who also smokes three packs a day. His voice tells you he's seen the mornings of many nights.

Mr. Mexico was met in the hotel lobby of Reposado Hotel, and interviewed for this story. Great music in the hotel lobby from Oscar Petterson/Louis Armstrong to something like modern day jazz/lounge like the DJ duo zero 7 - apparently this is broadcast on www.reposado.com.mx - and is ERNESTO APPROVED.

The interview:

SE: Mr. Mexcio, what has been the impact of Michael Vick's use of your name, Ron Mexico?

RM: Well, a heckuva lot Sam. You see I've run several good businesses in Cancun for many years, and you know it's spring break time, which is the time of year I make the majority of profits as well as find myself in the arms of college aged coeds with wet t-shirts, and this news has had a negative effect on both my business and my lifestyle.

SE: What has been the negative effect on your business specifically?

RM: Well, the biggest losses have been taken at Ron Mexico's Crab Shack and Roll. We had our lowest turnout ever for our ladies night last Wednesday, and also the first time in the history of Ron Mexico's Crab Shack and Roll, that no breasts were exposed all evening. It is a terrible thing, and, you know, it's bad for me, but we should also consider the slippery slope this could cause to the rest of the Spring Break Business.

SE: So you believe the Ron Mexico affliction could spread to unknowing business owners, and maybe endanger Spring Break as we know it?

RM: Sure, that's why I'm trying to get the word out ASAP. It's insane. We can't have people in Cancun afraid to lose control - especially at my chain of bars - because they wrongfully think that I'm a herpes carrier.

SE: Why have you fled to Cuernavaca?

RM: I haven't fled. This just isn't a football town, and there are fewer Americans here, so I'm trying to open a bar here, so that my lifestyle of free wheeling and womanizing is not affected by these rumors/truths which surround this Michael Vick - in fact, I can't stand the Atlanta Falcons, I've always been an Oakland Raiders guy myself.

SE: Why Mexico, Mr. Mexico?

RM: I came down here in the 60's, Alcapulco - back in the day. It was amazing, and you know then there was the war, and I didn't really want to go back to the states and get drafted, so I just kinda stayed, learned to fly planes did a few runs here and there, you know no big deal, then I moved over to Cancun to open my businesses like the Crab Shak, and Ron Mexico's Seniorita Burro, and Ron Mexico's American Bar.

SE: If you could say anything to Michael Vick right now?

RM: I'd tell him he's a sunnavabitch for using my name. Secondly, that dude, you always gotta tell the ladies about your std's - if you got them, which I don't. Thirdly, I'd ask that he come down and help promote my Ron Mexico chain, and become a partner in my Cuernavaca expansion.

SE: So you would still want to be associated with Michael Vick despite the slander to your name?

RM: Yeah, he's a celebrity. Also, I blame the liberal media for running the story, and I blame smoking gun for publishing the court documents before the trial - America wasn't free in the 60's and it's only becoming more of a totalitarian dictatorship now, and I'm happy I'm in Mexico frankly.

SE: Thank you for your time Ron.

RM: Thanks Sam, this will get front page right?

SE: You've got the money right?

RM: All unmarked bills, 10k, like you said.

SE: Great. Is this tape recorder still on, SHIT.

-SE

ed. note. - Fridays are for Sanjay's movie reviews and art commentaries, this will be pushed to this weekend due to this breaking news story.

Cuban to Start, baseball back in DC

2005-04-14T15:29:00.000-04:00

WASHINGTON DC (German Herm reporting) - Tonight baseball returns to the American captial with a 5-4 record and actually tied for first in the National League East. Even if Justice Scalia had written "Baseball returns to DC in first place", I don't think even Justice Thomas would think it true, but there it is.

Interestingly, to get a baseball team to DC, we had to take a team from Canada - and French speaking Canada at that. At any rate, what we have now, suddenly Les Expos, the kinda frenchy team with the beanie hats - have been transformed into: The Nationals, an all-american team with a "Dub-ya" on the cap. So in case you were wondering, the MLB is all USA.

Yet, The Nationals, is certainly a funny name for this team. (The name actually derives from a long history going back to the earliest games of baseball during the civil war, and again with the 1901 team, but people liked to call them the Senators and it stuck and became official. However that name is owned by the Texas Rangers).

Consider star pitcher Livan Hernandez who will take the hill tonight. A Cuban National will throw out the official first picth (after the ceremonial pitch by President Bush). Do we find a hint of irony here?

Maybe not, baseball is becoming more and more a game of the Americas, rather than a game of America, as we all know and perhaps that's a good thing. It seems as if the name Senators wouldn't do at all in this day and age.

"Nationals" seems just right for a team composed of a Cuban (Hernandez); four Mexicans (Loaiza, Ayala, Osuna, Castilla); two Puerto Ricans (old Baerga, Vidro); three Dominicans (Guzaman, Blanco, Guillen), and one Japanese (Ohka). Indeed, call them "Washington Nationals" and it's an entirely appropriate name for a team which is much more representative to our national self than probably MLB realizes and that makes an old baseball purist happy.

There's sure as shit a lot wrong with the state of the game of basbeall and people like Bud Selig (whatever happened to stand up guys like Fay Vincent?) However, somehow there's something about the game, maybe how its beginning comes with the coming of spring and each year seems like a new beginning for everyone, full of possibility and new hopes, that then you sense baseball's gonna be ok. In fact, it may even thirve in Washington.

The Nationals have returned in first place and will be led by a Cuban star tonight in their first game since 1971. I think that's a pretty hopeful all-American statement.

-GH

New Yearning for Kim Il Sung

2005-04-13T10:20:00.000-04:00

OUTSIDE PYONGYANG (Yap reporting) – I am here to report on the Day of the Sun, which is on Friday, and to delve into the mystery of just who is Kim Il Sung, and what of his legacy, and just what it is about North Korea.

I have not yet reached Pyongyang, and am posting this via satellite phone to blogger.com. I got here via a Japanese trawler, captained by a old Taiwanese ship captain, with a port of call from New Zealand.

I remain questioning Ernesto’s request that I head over here, and am upset that I had to cut my hair to be here. I feel like I could go to jail at anytime, and there is trouble getting the Yap stone money exchanged here – you try finding American Express in North Korea.

But, problems aside, we do need to figure this North Korean thing out. I mean what is it?

This week is a big one here. April 15 is The Day of the Sun, THE national holiday for North Korea. There will be marching bands and parades and flowers as everyone celebrates the birth of President Kim Il Sung. There will also be enough revisionist history to reinvent the wheel to a square. The trend right now is excitement. According to the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), “the citizens are commemorating the Day of the Sun with more ardent yearning than ever before.”

What this means, and how ardent they are, will be my focus for the reports. Apparently, Ernesto has assigned me to report from North Korea every Wednesday – so check back for updates. I will next report more about the North Korean bio of Kim Il Sung, and the architecture of the regime - meaning actual 'architecture' in a Rem Koolhaas sense - not in the political Karl Rove kind of achitecture. Good Frontline piece on him this week, Ernesto tells me by the way.

Of course, you may be asking yourself, well, how did I get here, here to North Korea. A simple process I assure you.

Just as I saw once in You Only Live Twice, Thunderball, and Dr. No, once we got close enough, (somewhere in the Sea of Japan) I left the trawler via a personal submarine, and then was able to swim to shore after getting to the continental shelf. Once ashore I ditched the gear behind a nearby rock and was ready for journalism in a now slightly wrinkled Armani Tuxedo.

Signing off, this is YAP, slightly depressed, ever-hopeful and shockingly Alfa Romeo-less from the outside the heart of the oppressive totalitarian state.

-Y

UAE declares Robots, not kids, for Camels

2005-04-12T11:27:00.000-04:00

ABU DHABI - UAE has apparently finally given in to US and international pressure and will now, following Qatar, use robots instead of the usual smuggled sub-45 kilogram Pakistani and Bengali children who have dominated the sport in recent history. And you thought seroids in baseball were a problem.

I understand you may not believe me about the robots: here's what AFP-AP has to say about it.

Dr. Teeth (see bio in sidebar) caught wind of this story a few weeks ago from one of his old dental school buddies who often plays golf in the Gulf States through a deal he has with an American Oil Contrator doing their orthodontics. Also, Teeth knew of the camel races from an old magazine that used to go to his dental office, he suggested probably an old National Geographic, (maybe it was Highlights).

Here's what Dr. Teeth had to say after his visit to the well known Al Ai track (10km track), which is located approximately 45km from Abu Dhabi:

"The demand for the children comes from the fact that the weight of the jockeys is just so damned important. You add that to the fact that this is a traditional Bedouin pastime, (think of it like a Bedouin Little League World Series, with Super Bowl money on the line). So you mix that tradition, to the fact that we're talking big money here - and the great social occasion, best coffee I ever had, and you get an amazing sport with a prediliction to kidnap participants.

A winning camel can fetch $50-60,000 in an after race auction - and that's most likely non-taxable. This has a lot to do with the time involved in raising a racing camel which generally takes three years before they are race ready.

A camel's racing career depends largely on the sex of the camel, a male lasting about 10 yrs, where a female goes for about 20 yrs (you can think of this as the opposite of Hollywood careers, where males tend to have more staying power).

You generally have two kinds of camels suited for racing from what I was able to gather, the anafi, or golden camels, and the boushari which are the brown and black mix.

Based on my bets, which were less bets and more donations to tribal cheif Sheik Zayhed Mohammed - I have no idea how to advise you when you place your bets, as to whether a male boushari is better than a female anafi, or vice versa.

I do know that if you're going to go to the Camel Races, bring some good ski goggles for the dust. I had been that dirty since my last trip to Lubbock, TX when I was caught in a dirt-storm, and wound up in some Texas Tech coed's boudoir with a 72 oz steak in her hand...but to return to UAE.

Being a former DDS, and possessing a personal compassion for all - even for the cavity filled and toothless - I went to inquire about the rumors surrounding the human rights violations and the alleged kidnappings.

The kidnappings usually involve some form of drugging, or the children are not kidnapped at all, but are "employed" through a program where willing parents sign them up for the races (essentailly modern indentured servitude). There have been many guesome reports of trampled children being left in the desert and so on.

I asked a few people about this practice, and these stories and was told nothing. Fine, but the BBC told me it did. No headway. However, everyone was open to talking about, and did have an opinion on the Michael Jackson case - largely against Michael - FYI.

In short, the report is that Robots could work here in the UAE. I think people are excited about it, and you know, they just want the whole kidnapping stigma to be shaken off, which will certainly take some time.

-DT
---

That's Dr. Teeth's report - we will wait for his next entry from Qatar, where he is going to go to one of the Robot Jockeyed Camel Races on Friday.

-s.e.

2005-04-11T18:39:00.000-04:00

NPR-MARKETPLACE-Comparing AIG & Enron w/ New York Times financial writer Kurt Eichenwald - ERNESTO APPROVED.

2005-04-11T17:07:00.000-04:00

The AP hot on Ernesto's trail..."Investor Buffett Questioned in AIG Probe" [AP Top Business News At 4:22 p.m. EDT]

Ispwich down & The latest on AIG

2005-04-11T14:02:00.000-04:00

We have not heard from Ipwisch since his phone call on the 19th green from the Masters. However, an email sent by him on Saturday night apparently from a public email terminal told me to watch the AIG story, as it was a hot topic, late night at AUGUSTA, I'm picking it up.
----

"Greenberg, Buffett, Spitzer, Boies, and Beattie, OH MY!"

VILLA ERNESTO - No breaking news on AIG-Greenberg, with the exception that I had a great cheesburger for lunch, but safe to assume that there is a pox somewhere here with potential of white hot action to come.

Sunday, on ABC's This Week with George Stephanopoulos saw Eliot Spitzer, respond to David Boies' Monday, 4/4/05 appearance on Charlie Rose in which the erstwhile tv journalist allowed Boies safe harbor to get out the Hank Greenberg message - NYT article here.

Critics, such as myself, may wonder why Mr. Rose failed to question, the former Napster Attorney, Boies, about the Grokster case which went to the Supreme Court to a standing room only audience, the Tuesday before. Grokster could be the most important case for sometime in technology and media - certainly an issue many of Mr. Rose's sponsors would be interested in. But maybe that's why is wasn't discussed? No...

Let's give Mr. Rose the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps there was something more to the developing Hank Greenberg story. If Charlie Rose thinks so, good enough for Sam Ernesto.

In the Charlie Rose interview with Mr. Boies, Mr. Boies, representing Hank Greenberg, went on the offensive a little in discussing possible action against the Wall Street Journal regarding an article they wrote alleging something along the lines that AIG's lawyers went to Bermuda to destroy documents. Nothing of the sort he said. [Ernesto will not link to WSJ, because the article is not available online unless I pay - you can take my word for it or order the Charlie Rose transcriptand take David Boies' word for it.]

However true the allegations of Wall Street Journal libel may be, the issue, and Boies' focus on it rather than on Hank Greenberg's action with GenRe:, should raise some eyebrows. However, to be fair Boies said there was nothing to discuss because there was no ill action on Greenberg's part was to be defended, and that the accounting is a question of definitions of what insurance is...something like that.

It is also clear that we may expect Richard Beattie, to get into the mix, representing the AIG board [NYT]. This could become a very interesting battle of NY lawyers in which Boies, Beattie, and Spitzer all have a piece at stake in the head of arguably the archetypical CEO, Hank Greenberg (who, along with Jack Welch, hard to say anyone is more synonymous with "CEO").

Also, for more on Greenberg, (also highly decorated vet, and great philanthropist), see an interesting article from Fortune magazine, which suggests this fall (possible), this hubris, on a scale of "...one of the great oedipal dramas of the corporate world. Greenberg wasn't satisfied with running the largest American insurance company; he also wanted to create a dynasty." (we recall that his son resigned from Marsh & McLennan, and the other from Ace).

If Greenberg gets called on criminal charges as Spitzer insinuated on Sunday - we're in for a what I would call a Beethoven level power coda to these last years of CEO crashings.

This case needs to be watched more closely than is being covered, and Sam Ernesto will follow it for you - though I'm sure Tom Wolfe will take it from me - this is his kinda bag.

-s.e.

2005-04-11T00:37:00.000-04:00

From NYT's Frank Rich, is he picking up on Sam Ernesto's blog?

Mr. Rich, you have the floor, his article, "A Culture of Death, Not Life" [New York Times - Opinion]

Ipswich - THE MASTERS - final:

2005-04-10T19:38:00.000-04:00

AUGUSTA - Ipswich called me live during both 18 holes. I lost the report when he dropped phone. Not sure if the thump was him, or the phone hitting the ground in amazement. Luckily, I was also watching TV, and drinking a fine 10 dollar Merlot, a classic Masters. I suppose CBS won after all.

Also credit CBS for the recap highlight montage before the presentation of the green jacket beginning with Dick Enberg narrating over a Bach Cello suite - hold the valium and tears for the "flood of [tearful] memories" of Jack Nickalus. I wish TV Golf Commentators would get off the Nickalus/Palmer bandwagon.

Ben Hogan was better than both on all fronts, he just reached his prime before TV did. There it is. However, today is Tiger's who's probably better than all of them.

-s.e.

2005-04-10T14:38:00.000-04:00

Latest action the Masters. [BBC News]

Sunday AM MASTERS report from IPSWICH

2005-04-10T13:18:00.000-04:00

AUGUSTA - Ipswich was on site this AM at THE MASTERS able to wake up in due time to get a hot dog for breakfast...

...and watch the self-proclaimed Type A personality Craig DiMarco blow up on the back nine with a +5 heading in.

Said Ipswich, "I wasn't sure if it was the late night Golden Tee Tourney with Canadian, and Molson drinker, Mike Weir, but somehow DiMarco's vision was imparied to a higher degree than mine, which was still muddy from the lime eye shots taken with Craig Stadler at 3am Sunday morning."

Meanwhile Tiger Woods apparently nearly set a birdies record by knocking 7 in a row down, four on the back added to the three he finished on Saturday before darkness (and a muddy ball on his drive on #10) shortened his 3rd round.

Still no sign of Mrs. Woods...

Woods is already tied for a Masters record of 19 birdies, surely we can expect a few more.

Of course, none of this action, a historic swing in the last nine of the 3rd round could be seen on TV. What's the deal CBS? You already have the cameras in position, and not that many people watch CBS Sunday Morning, and I would bet that at least 60% of the audience that does would rather watch the 3rd Round at Augusta. Also, you've already paid the bucks to broadcast the second nine, which means you've sold the advertising already - so it seems to me it makes economic sense to play teh 3rd round Sunday AM.

You know NBC, would have put it on USA, or ABC to ESPN - here we see exposed a great weakness in the Viacom power structure - mere impotence to not be able to broadcast what might have been the most exciting two hours of live TV they have purchased for 2005. Your loss CBS. Just goes to show this is not an on demand world -

Unless you have Ipswich in position with a camera phone and a blackberry following T. Woods on the most secret of Rounds in modern Masters history.

to keep you posted.

-se

Martin Amis about Colombian slums

2005-04-09T18:25:00.000-04:00

Regarding Valeria from the Golf Channel, She apparently is not Argentinian, but Colombian. Unlike many other media outlets, Sam Ernesto is going to put on page one factual mistakes, and then investigate them.

We have learned that her full name is Valeria Ochoa, link for the dossier. She is actually younger than myself and all cohorts, which was promising, and hearing he is an assistant golf pro in Miramar, FL was an added bonus, and with 3 children. Wow, and with such a great short game, how does she do this? Anyway she hails from Medillin, Colombia, and so we figured we would find out more about Colombia as a form of apology and dialed up Martin Amis, through his assistant and the London Times....

....Amis was apparently interrupted in the middle of not smoking, and was on the phone with Jenna Jameson, apparently asking her rather probing questions regarding legumes. He said he'd be happy to discuss Colombia with us, but if we wouldn't mind just reading his latest in the Times on the subject, especially on account of his coversation with Heartbreaker Jameson. I'm a sensible guy, "Marty, no problem."

So a few Amis bits on Colombia to follow. Apparently it's a dangerous place, and the kids have guns, life is cheap, and so on. He mentioned nothing about Golf or the two-time columbian women's champion supra. With all the darkness, in fairness, I think he should return to discuss Golf in Colombia...maybe for Travel and Leisure or something (oh, sorry "Travel + Leisure")

Amis on Colombia from Times Online here, or a few choice quotes:

...Gang slang for a home-made gun is una pacha: a baby's bottle. The violence starts at once and never goes away...

....'Guns don't kill people. People kill people,' argued Ronald Reagan. You could take this line further, and say that people don't kill people either. Bullets kill people. In Cali they cost 50 cents each, and can be sold to minors individually, like cigarettes.....

....The cemetery was more like a morgue than a graveyard, with the dead stacked into a series of thick blocks, each berth the size of a paving stone. Every panel had something written on it, at the minimum just the name and the year of interment, in Magic Marker; others were more elaborate, with framed photographs, poems, avowals ('yo te quiero'), figurines, crosses, hearts, angels....

----

I suppose we can say Colombia really shows us, and the Alliance Defense Fund (see earlier posts), that perhaps America isn't the "culture of death" the ADF claims it to be, but then ADF would most likely have us continuing to ingore real "cultures of death" places like Colombia or Central Africa (and maybe for good reason), but you know...why worry about any of this: The Masters is on.

However, if a Colombia Golf Pro has made it to reality TV, will Colombian gangs make it to channel 7 news? Certainly the El Salvadorians have a leg up - but I'm not betting against Colombians - you know, with out them there would have been no Miami Vice, maybe they're due to return, if for nothing more than a Don Johnson comeback.

-s.e.

Ipswich reports from The Masters...DEVELOPING

2005-04-09T14:38:00.000-04:00

We have received our first Masters report from our man Ipswich. Why (or really, how) he is there is still as yet unconfirmed (and largely not our concern) but, as previously mentioned, one must speculate that it has something to do with his work as a former GenRe: employee, and somekind of work he is doing on behalf of Warren Buffet and possible contacts at AIG.

(Keep in mind that WSJ may be sued for story about AIG destroying documents in Bermuda in response to Elliot Spitzer investigation into AIG accounting practices, which apparently is factually lacking in facts - see Charlie Rose inteview w/ David Boies from last week).

back to golf....

From Ipswich's report:

...rainy...i've been drier on my last 19th century whaling reenactment for the Discovery Channel 100 miles north/northwest of Nantucket....Tiger Woods was looking good in practice round...greens are faster than they appear on television...the golfing grounds cover a smaller acrage than originally assumed...curious to insurance implications of lightening strike and possible reinsurance implications...no sign of Mrs. Woods the striking nordic goddess, but still looking...shocked at the fact that the town of Augusta itself appears to be quite a dump, recalling rough neighborhoods outside Negril...the grounds crew amazing....and consessions are at 1970's prices before oil embargo - $3.50 for beer and sandwich. sandwich comes in green wrapper, so you can throw it on the ground and it will blend in with the grass, yet this matters not as there are people to pick it up before it hits ground anyway...Erine Els is very tall...the controversy between mickleson and singh over mickleson's spike marks being much ballyhooed over in press. word here is that they settled their differences over a game of ping pong in the "Former Champions" locker room - winner played byron nelson.....

Goodbye Bellow, Hello Agrentina

2005-04-06T23:35:00.000-04:00

And you thought I would actually finish the story about Ireland. I will, but not now, not after the death of Saul Bellow. It put me in a funk especially after all the previously discussed deaths, as well as Prince Rainer of Monaco who has my highest respect for conquesting arguably the hottest babe of the 20th Century (Grace Kelly).

It was in the daze of a Property lecture on Olde English wild animal seizure rights that I read the news about the Prince, not long after reading about Bellow, as well as the Sox (Red) loss to the Yankess of New York. I left to go get a coffee, and wound up instead going home to brew my own (i only had a $5, the machine didn't take it).

Once home I got the can of "Cocaina Negra" put the stained yellowish coffee pot on the Mr. Coffee, and while waiting for the "Esspresso of the Incas", I pulled out the final carton of Caveat Emptor Lights, which I got Duty Free on my last trip to Munich (oh, and did I mention Peter Jennings has lung cancer). I was listening to some NPR, and my foot was tapping. I wondered if I should go back to property class, considered my future interests, which were lacking at best so I went in to watch TV. But I didn't get in the hot tub because I didn't want to be either wet or hot, and then I started wondering why.

It was then that the Golf Channel came on with a competition of women golfers trying to make the LPGA. A reality show type thing, and I saw Valeria for the first time. She's the spunky Argentinian beauty with the braided pony tail who is also wicked hot and plays a mean game of golf. Top Notch. Four Days I watched this show, recording each episode, and replaying previously recorded episodes when the Golf Channel was showing things like Men playing golf.

And I got to thinking...does the LPGA realize the goldmine they're sitting on? And I was reminded of what Tom Watson once said to me at a ProAm, "Ernesto, LPGA is never going to make money becuase of the lesbian thing." I used to believe him, but it's totally wrong. I'm not proposing that the LPGA could make money by playing it up, no, then it would be a weird WWF thing. No they should not address it really, but I implore them to allow more qualified attractive South American women, whatever the sexual preference (amazons?) to join up and break par (or my heart).

Anyway the point is that this show has everyone from the old lady next door (who probably in skills is the best, to a little CA or FL plastic woman, who if she hasn't had barbie doll plastic applications certianly appears that way) and then there's Valeria, golf's Athena, the perfect connection of female athleticism - and gee, I watched this all day, and I even got YAP watching it too, but he got mad when I said Valeria could beat Vijay Singh, and then he went to McDonald's.

I asked German Herm about Argentinian golf and my developing interest in the subject, and desire to play outside Buenos Aires. Herm (the son of a horribly corrupt investment banking family) summoned the family jet and we were down in Buenos Aires in a matter of about 10 hours give or take - we were able to not miss out classes via a complicated satellite webcast which YAP broadcast to us.

We arrived at the Jockey Club, which is technically in San Isidro about 20 minutes from the city. It would be the thrid Alister MacKenzie course I have played (other two in California: Cypress Point & Pasatiempo). We palyed 36 holes on the Red Course before hitting the town and then heading back to the USA, but not before I picked up some more duty free Caveat Emptors.

Anyway, I told you it'd be about horse racing, but there's some golf (after all the Masters begins tomorrow).

I will revceive a report from my man "Ipswich", who is at the Masters for the whole tourney this weekend..."Ipswich" also use to work for GenRe:, which, if you're reading this you know is in the eye of the storm of the mess with AIG and Berkshire Hathaway, but that's for another day...for now...

That's all,

Let's play golf!

-s.e.

Alliance Defense Fund v. Bernard Henri-Levy & Dylan Thomas

2005-04-05T00:35:00.000-04:00

Nabokov called sleep "the most moronic fraternity in the world, with the heaviest dues and the crudest rituals... a nightly betrayal of reason, humanity, genius." To think he was not a law student at any time!

And yes, again I find myself restless, even after a good soak in the hot tub, under the sounds of Astrud Gilberto, followed by a good amount of EL ERNESTO GRANDES.

But why the restlessness? You know it's been a big weekend, and YAP has not shut up about the March Madness, seemingly fixated on the large amount of limestoen he laid out on Illinois to win tonight - the loss has caused him to be inconsolable, and he may not be able to make his latest Alfa Romeo payment, unless he makes his money back on Vijay Singh in the Masters (it's an islanders thing, and YAP dated a supposedly hot cousin of Vijay's at the American School in Samoa in 1999).

With mention of the Alfa Romeos, I'm drawn back to the weekend's events to recall the vultures of mediapersons laying wait for the Pope to die. From the local 7 to CNN, BCC to perhaps the North Korean News Agency, well, actually not the North Koreans (fucking commies). Strange fucking business. Reminded me of Monty Python, "I'm not dead yet." Seemed to be the theme of the week last week, that was until...The weekend of death -

Beginning with the death of Terri Schiavo, to Frank Purdue the chicken man, and ending with the passing of the Pope - a weekend surely that makes one glad to be alive, or at least calls one to recall about the right to die, right to a good chicken breast, and the end of one of the most interesting men of the 20th century - no small order on the blog today. Must maintain....

In my EL ERNESTO haze, the past events bring to mind, and it will be the last I speak of the Alliance Defense Fund for awhile, but, their press release regarding the Shiavo mess. The ADF maintained that "The culture of death has claimed another victim." Apparently the culture they are referring to is American culture, and whether we are a "culture of death (as opposed to a "culture of living") begs some moderate inspection. What would Alexis de Tocqueville say?

Apparently, de Tocqueville is no longer the guy to ask as, per The Atlantic Monthly, French philosophe and poverbial ladies man (in an apparent Ben Frnaklin/Wilt Camberlain kinda way) Bernard Henri-Levy, has walked in Alexis' footsteps and is now our French man of action regarding all things American, from the French view (meaning the rear - but which I say with no disdain for the Gauls, in fact I'm a fan, I STILL order French fries.) So, I will follow his monthly entries, maybe even read his book in the Fall in regards to this, but I still wish BHL would just write a series of "Penthouse Letters of the Alliance Francais".

But first an aside....

Many of you have asked me, "Sam Ernesto, you are a law student, but you have a hot tub. How do you afford it?" I'd love to plug my creditors at Visa and MasterCard, but I won't because I was in Montreal this weekend without cold hard American cash, aqnd ran up the CCs (due to the fact that I gave all my cash to YAP in exchange for some of his national currency - I get a killing on the exchange rate there and should be able to retire with the usual 6% raise in YAP stones to American dollars - I'm making out like a bandit, and feel sorry for the saps with the 401ks.) But, we're here to talk about the hot tub (and talking of death, but death move me rook to f 5, your move).

Anyway, while the subject of death is occupied.

The money for the hot tub came through a much more derelict passage than electronic exchange from Delaware, it came via a trip to Ireland with German Herm. German Herm, being the Argentianian that he is, is a great lover of horses, and a former polo star (I first met him in Newport, RI when we were hitting on the same girl at the Red Parrot). Anyway, it just so happened that an old family ranch hand's son had moved to Ireland and was a jockey. Herm had received word (via carrier pigeon), that the son, Armando, was going to ride at the famous Curragh Racecourse, in Kildare southwest of Dublin. This in many ways was a coup for Armando apparently due to his fear of horses, which is why he left Argentina in the first place.

Long story short - Armando ran off with an Irish girl, Molly (obviously), who was from Dublin. Crossing O'Connell St on the way to Trinity College where he was going to see about enrolling in acting classes, he was run over by a horse. Being small, he was more kicked into the air than he was trampled, and he found his worse fear wasn't so bad. It turned out that the ensuing car crash on College Street, involved a prolific Irish trainer, Adian O'Brien, who somehow immediately considered Armando a possible prodigy. The rest is history until this day at Curragh. The Curragh race would be a momentous day for all involved especially Armando, German Herm, and myself, and will be discussed tomorrow.

Bringing back the vital memories of the Emerald Isle has caused a slight pause of reflection as I condiser the past weekend of death, and the "culture of death" that I presently find myself LIVING in. We are all living in the culture of death, or are busy dying, as maybe Bob Dylan said - but I think he was quoting Dylan Thomas in that song, or someone like Dylan Thomas. Anyway. Here we are in th culture of death and I'm confused about many things, remarkably the ADF and the religious right it represents attitude toward death - it is all so confusing.

Here, they, and I mean the ADF here, is suggesting that we should fight tooth and nail for a person living on a tube with a liquid brain to "live", yet I wonder, if you believe in heaven, why not just let her go into that good night. Or are we all reading our Dylan Thomas, and raging against the dying of the light (yet somehow accepting food though a tube is less than rage).

However, we turn to the Pope who did fight against the dying of the light. In fact they thought he was dead a day before he was, and I think of how he refused to go to the hospital, and we think about that, and what would have happened in America if the ADF had its way, and his death, was as graceful and impactful as a life well lived...And we think of a spirit, and of a man, and realise that sometimes the two may meet, and that good is among us, even in our "culture of death." And, furthermore, thoughout this week, I have seen that to embrace death is really an embrace life itself, and an acknowledgemen to the spirituality that surrounds us all no matter what our religion. Many minds have said it better, but I, Sam Ernesto, feel a little exhausted at the end of this,

And I believe it is time to take my own rest, bollocks to Mr. Nabokov,

With that,

I retire to the most moronic faternity of the world,

s.e.

Alliance Defense Fund v. Arthur Miller

2005-03-31T17:21:00.000-05:00

Pull up a chair....

Earlier today I, Sam Ernesto, was seated with my usual lunch crew - Yap (my roommate, so named as he hails from that island, famous for its stone money); German Herm (from Argentina, his history is mysterious); and Dr. Teeth (former DDS, he's the one out of 10 dentists that neither uses Crest nor Oral B his practice folded leaving him penniless, but with a lot of sample Aquafresh, clean enough teeth to take out a school loan).

We were discussing a recent appearance to the law school from the Alliance Defense Fund.

Right now, I'm back home in the hot tub typing - "reflective blog mode". Yap is busy looking for enough stones from his briefcase to purchase a new Alfa Romeo (as if the six month old Spider is no good anymore - he doesn't like the seat warmers).

I am in full support of a new and additional Alfa, because I may be able to drive the old one if I can get my license reinstated, which is another story. Yet I am always multitasking. I am listening to a recording of I made of myself last night myself reading my Constitutional Law. I am broadcasting it though iTunes having it played simultaneously through my stereo system, and through the tub's underwater speaker system - apparently you can learn better if you hear yourself read - but I wish I could hear John Wayne read Marbury v. Madison just once. USA.).

I am also drinking my usual 5:00pm cocktail which I call the EL ERNESTO GRANDE: 1/2 vermouth and 1/2 molson export, served in a hollowed out half grapefruit - no straw (I usually put a few grapefruit halves on a tray so I don't have to get out of the tub every five minutes.)

Anyway, I'm here to write about the lunch convo.

So at lunch, we were just visiting the ADF website, at the request of their representative who I listened to, but chose not to speak to or with - a well groomed (bearded - probably boycotting a "French" company like Gillette) and well versed in a way, but not in others, he gave the air, of the kinda guy that if you sat next to him at a baseball game you wouldn't talk to him and would probably passive aggressively drop peanut shells on his feet.

Sorry, I'm off point again, but you know.

"Yap, can you bring me another EEG?"

[five minutes pass]

"Thanks, Man"

OK, so what we found out was...

If you're looking for truth (and who isn't these days), you can order truth booklets from the Alliance Defense Fund website - Tally Ho!

Who knew truth was so easily found? Or, that once found, it would fit in such a handy five dollar publication with a picture of a gagged white guy on the front [disclaimer: i've been a white gagged guy before - it's frustrating - long story involving Turkey, (for another post)]

I refer to: "The Truth About the Separation of Church and State".

Anyway in this "truth" booklet, apparently, "Contrary to popular opinion, the term 'separation of church and state' is found nowhere in the United States Constitution. While the First Amendment clearly forbids the creation of a national church, it says nothing about the so-called 'separation of church and state'."

Hmm...I guess that is true! Wow. It's a good thing to know that someone in America supports the Iranian system of government, as well as general "truth protecting" - thank you ADF, I believe they will next be supporting a "church" to raise money to support "church warriors" who are fighting for the church. This always works if you look at history. Children's Crusade anyone?!

I'd just like to say though that the ADF is right - We certainly need "truth protecting" - I mean there is so much danger to "the truth" going around now, with all these wacko media "liberal crazies" controlling everything we hear with their pundits dominance on the radio in terms of audience, as well as their number one 24 hour cable news network, (and control at least 2 of 3 branches of federal government), how do we protect "the truth" from them? Luckily, the Alliance Defense Fund is here to protect us from liberal crazies like John Stewart and Al Franken, and the people who think they're funny - and the collected things these people believe like "unconstitutional separation of church and state", which, supra, is not in the constitution.

With the ADF protecting truth we have nothing to fear - the Underdog principle.
Yet, why do I find myself pissing in my own hot tub with fear?

I think someone smart once said, I think it was Arthur Miller, who said, something along the lines of, "when someone says they're in touch with god, or that they know 'the truth', I look for the exit".

With that my friends,

Where's the exit?

Adios.

-s.e.